


Questions in Time

by Jade4813



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29411826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade4813/pseuds/Jade4813
Summary: Barry and Iris's relationship has been marked by a series of questions.Entry for the 2021 Westallen Alphabet celebration on Tumblr.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 11
Kudos: 46





	Questions in Time

“What’s your name?” the young girl asked as she bent to help him gather his things, which lay scattered on the floor from where he dropped them.

He flushed and shot her a quick look. “Barry. Barry Allen. What’s yours?” He mumbled an embarrassed thanks as she placed the last rogue paper on the stack in her hands and passed them over.

She didn’t seem to notice his discomfort or the blush staining his cheeks. “Iris. You’re new here, huh?” At his nod, she rose to her feet and adjusted the weight of the backpack that was slung over one shoulder. “You headed to lunch?” He didn’t even get a chance to answer before she continued in a voice that brooked no argument, “Come on. You can sit with me.”

He straightened, realizing that Iris was a good two inches taller than him. He had thankfully outgrown every child’s fear of the cooties but was still young enough to be able to admit that she was pretty without being worried about what that thought might mean. From the casual greetings students offered her as they passed, he could also tell she was popular.

But she didn’t seem to notice the curious looks she drew as she walked into the cafeteria next to the new boy who was still too much of a stranger to have made any friends. She also didn’t notice his shyness. Instead, she rambled away as she quietly guided him on which foods on offer were safe to eat and which were to be avoided at all costs.

He was too young to recognize what love was. But if he’d been just a little bit older, he might have suspected he fell in love with her from that very first conversation on their very first day of being friends. And he would never stop.

* * *

“Anyway, wanna spend the night at my house tonight?” Iris asked, appearing out of nowhere and presenting the question as though the two of them were in the middle of a conversation they absolutely hadn’t been having.

Luckily, Barry and Iris had been friends long enough that this tendency of hers no longer surprised him. “Probably, but I’ve gotta ask my mom. Did your dad give permission already?”

She shrugged, unperturbed by her technical lack of permission. “He’s got a big case, so he’ll be working late tonight.” Joe tended to be more lenient about Iris having friends over on nights he was wrapped up in a case at work. Possibly because he felt guilty to work such long hours. “I’m gonna ask if we can rent a couple movies when he picks me up from school. We can have popcorn and ice cream and – ooh, Celeste!”

Her head whipped around as she caught sight of one of her other friends as they passed in the hallway. In a hurried voice, she blurted, “Catch you after fifth period? I’ve gotta ask Celeste a question about our math homework.”

Before he could even answer, she’d darted away.

* * *

“What’s up, Bar? You not enjoying the movie?” At his quick look of surprise, she explained, “You just sighed.”

He grimaced, lifting one hand to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. He hadn’t realized he’d even made a noise. “Ah, no, it’s okay. It’s just…” He let his voice trail off. Lifting her eyebrows slightly, she gave him an encouraging nod. Rolling his eyes at her, he explained, “I didn’t realize there would be this much _kissing_.”

Iris laughed, the sound washing over him like music. “I didn’t realize you minded _kissing_ movies so much. What’s the matter? You don’t still think girls will give you cooties?” she teased him.

That wasn’t the problem at all. The _problem_ was that he’d found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss _her_. He didn’t know where the thought had come from. Or why it had come upon him so suddenly. But he absolutely couldn’t let her know what he’d been thinking.

“No!” he blurted, a little too defensively. The sharpness of his tone caused her to straighten from her reclining position on the couch, her body moving slightly away from him. Desperate to rescue the situation – while still keeping her ignorant of his private thoughts – he stammered, “I-I was just wondering if, uh, if you had ever kissed anyone?” His tone lifted at the end in question, breaking off with a small wince of mortification as he realized he’d probably picked the worst way to deflect her suspicion.

But she didn’t seem suspicious. Instead, she seemed strangely shy, kicking her foot out to trace patterns on the floor with one bare toe. “Oh,” she breathed. “No. Have – have you?”

He shook his head desperately, hoping she wouldn’t see his utter humiliation. Or the words that hovered on the tip of her tongue, asking her if she wanted to kiss _him_.

He made a soft choking sound when she asked, “Do you want to try?”

“Try what?” he practically squeaked.

She didn’t directly answer the question. “I-I mean, we’re friends. I just thought…kissing seems so _silly_ , but…I’m not sure I’d do it right, and I’d feel less nervous if I tried with a friend.”

“Oh,” he replied, somewhat stupidly. “Okay.”

His breath caught in his throat as her eyes flew to his, and he could see she’d been expecting him to turn her down. But then her face softened into a smile, and she leaned forward, moving almost torturously slowly.

She hadn’t even bridged half the distance before footsteps sounded in the doorway and Joe strolled into the room, his arms filled with two large bows of popcorn. “Thought you guys might be hungry, so I brought some snacks,” he explained obliviously as Iris and Barry sprang apart as though they’d been caught in the midst of some sort of illicit activity.

Neither of them mentioned what they had been about to do. They certainly didn’t try again. But when Barry went to bed that night, he found himself wondering what it would have been like to kiss Iris. And wondering even more why he was having such thoughts about the girl who was supposed to be his best friend.

* * *

“Do you really believe me?” he asked, his head in her lap as she ran her hands soothingly through his hair. He kept his face averted, not wanting her to see the tears that streaked his cheeks. Though she’d been listening to him sob for at least the last hour, so she could hardly be ignorant that he’d been crying. “About what I saw?”

“Of course I believe you, Barry,” she reassured him gently.

“They think it was my dad,” he whispered miserably. “But h-he wouldn’t—”

“I know,” she broke in, sliding one hand to his shoulder to give it a soft squeeze. “I don’t know who the Man in Yellow was, but we’ll figure it out somehow. Together. Okay?”

* * *

“Where are you going?” Iris’s soft voice was almost enough to stop him in his tracks. But he was too angry, he was hurting too much, to be forestalled for long.

“I’m leaving!” he grumbled angrily, tossing some clothes into his backpack. “Joe doesn’t believe me about my dad! _Nobody_ believes me! They think I’m crazy, that I—”

“I believe you,” she refuted him, her words soft and sad.

He hesitated, throwing her an apologetic look over his shoulder. “I know,” he finally agreed, his words tinged with regret. “But he wants to take me to another therapist who will tell me I imagined what I saw that night. I didn’t, I swear! And I can’t just abandon my dad in jail like they want me to."

She gave a quick, decisive nod and threw her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. “I know. You do what you gotta do, Barry Allen. I’ll try to cover for you with dad.”

Before he pulled away, she pressed her lips softly his cheek. Even through his fury and his frustration, as he ran down the street away from the West house a few minutes later, the spot where she’d kissed him tingled.

* * *

“So, you planning to go to the dance on Friday?” Iris asked cheerfully as he passed her in the hallway, his hair still wet from the shower.

He snorted. “Of course not. It sounds dumb. Why?”

If he wasn’t wrong, she looked a little embarrassed. And maybe just a tiny bit hurt. “Oh. No reason, I guess. I just…Steve Asherman asked me to go, but I thought I’d rather go with you. But it’s okay. You’re probably right. It’ll be stupid anyway.”

With that, she ducked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Leaving Barry to reproach himself for his rashly chosen words. Wishing he could find a way to turn back time to ask her to be his date to the dance after all.

* * *

“Well? How do I look?” she asked, spinning in a circle in front of him.

He couldn’t tear is eyes away. “A-amazing,” he answered honestly. “You look amazing.”

She came to a stop with a grin. “You sure you don’t want to come along? I’m sure Steve wouldn’t mind.”

Barry had no doubt Steve absolutely _would_ mind, since it was the worst-kept secret at school that his crush on Iris was exceeded in duration and devotion only by Barry’s own. Plus, he could imagine nothing worse than being a fifth wheel on a date with Iris. Particularly knowing he could have been on her arm – as a friend, at least – if not for a few thoughtless words. “Nah, that’s okay,” he replied, keeping his voice lighter than he felt. “I had a book I wanted to read tonight anyway.”

She laughed. “You are such a nerd, Bar,” she teased him lightly. Before he could even consider whether his feelings should be hurt at this assessment, she threw her arms around his shoulders and stretched onto her toes to give him a hug. It had been a long time since the days she’d towered over him. “But that’s one of the things I love most about you.”

He felt her start to pull away and felt his arms tighten around her, wishing to prolong the embrace. Her words echoed in his mind. _“…that’s one of the things I love most about you. Love most about you. Love you.”_

He didn’t realize what she was about to do until it was already done. As she started to pull away, she turned her head slightly and brushed her lips against his in a quick kiss. He froze when he realized what had happened, and she took the opportunity to step out of his arms.

“Wh-what was that?” he asked, knowing his face had to be bright red.

“Oh,” she replied, and he could see the flush on her own cheeks. “It’s just…it’s silly, but…you were supposed to be my first kiss, remember? I mean, it was years ago, so m-maybe you don’t. But then my dad interrupted us, and I—”

“I remember,” he prompted when her voice trailed off. She wouldn’t look at him, her fingers worrying the fabric of her dress instead.

“Oh. Of course you do. Well, I just – uh – it seemed a shame to have my first kiss with someone else when…I mean, you’re my _best friend_ so I thought – I’m sure I wasn’t very good at it, but—”

He shook his head, cutting her off. “No, you were fine! I mean, I think you were. It was just so fast. I just, um, I don’t think _I_ did a very good job, is all. I didn’t realize – I mean, I didn’t know—”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just laid one on you like that. I was just nervous about tonight. I thought if Steve tried to kiss me, I wouldn’t know what to do.” She huffed out a deep breath. “It’s stupid. I’m sorry,” she reiterated.

“No, it’s okay!” he reassured her quickly. “I, um, do you _want_ to kiss Steve? I mean, if he tries to kiss you?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t decided. I just wanted to be prepared. You know, in case.”

“Right,” he agreed rather vaguely. Not really sure what he was agreeing to or whether he should be agreeing at all. His mind was too preoccupied by the realization she’d kind of kissed him and he’d _missed it_. “Do you, uh, do you want to try again?” When she looked surprised and a little confused, he explained, “I just…I was surprised, so I don’t think I did a very good job the first time. If you’re wondering what it’s like to kiss someone, I don’t think I helped very much.”

“Oh,” she said for the third time in as many minutes. “Um…sure.”

He could tell she was nervous. He was too, as he leaned down slowly, giving her every opportunity to change her mind and step away. Until the distance was breached and his lips were pressed gently but firmly against her own.

If he ever looked back on their first as an adult, and if he could be honest with himself when doing so, he’d acknowledge that – in the entire history of kisses – his first kiss with Iris would rank nowhere near the top in terms of finesse. It couldn’t have been a more awkward first kiss if they’d tried, since neither knew what they were doing so they just stood there with their lips pressed together and didn’t move so much as an inch.

But he’d dreamed about kissing Iris for so long, he couldn’t have imagined a more perfect moment if he’d tried. If only he knew how she felt about him in return.

When the kiss finally broke off, Iris pulling away as her eyes darted around the room nervously, he tried to tell her how he felt. “Iris, I—”

“Iris!” Joe called from downstairs. “Your date’s here!”

“I-I should go,” she blurted before he could continue. “I don’t want to keep him waiting.” She turned to run downstairs but hesitated in the doorway. Throwing him a quick glance over her shoulder, the corners of her lips curved up in a soft smile. “Thank you, Bar. I hope kissing me wasn’t too traumatizing for you,” she teased him gently.

As she disappeared, he groaned in the back of his throat and leaned back against the wall. Actually, it had been _devastating_. It had left no doubt in his mind that he loved her. He always had. He always would. And she would never see him as anything other than her best friend.

* * *

“Got everything you need?” she asked, her eyes scouring the room as she grabbed for his hand. Intentionally drawing out the moment before they would have to say goodbye.

He let her, no more eager to leave her than she was to see him go. “I think so,” he said, a touch of regret in his voice. Then, clearing his throat, he said more encouragingly, “This isn’t _forever_ , you know. I’ll come home over breaks and at the holidays…”

“I know,” she cut in, the cheer in her voice not ringing true. Scowling when she seemed to realize the same thing, she added in a tone just above a whisper, “It’s just…it won’t be the same. I’ve been spoiled, getting to see you every day.” Then, giving his hand a quick squeeze, she said more firmly, “But I know you’re going to do great. You’ll blow everyone away with how brilliant you are, and pretty soon, you’ll forget all about me.”

“Never!” he vowed, the word thick with feeling as he pulled her into his arms for a tight hug. “I could never forget about you.”

He heard her soft sniffle as she pressed her cheek against his shoulder. When she finally drew back, he could see the wetness in her eyes as she fought back tears. “Just…do good, Bar. After you graduate, come home to me and we’ll figure out the identity of the Man in Yellow together. Promise?”

Barry was momentarily taken aback. He hadn’t realized she knew why he was pursuing his planned course of study, or that she was even aware how much the mystery still plagued his mind. But in retrospect, he probably should have known better. That was Iris. Of course she knew.

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, wishing – not for the first or last time – he was brave enough to tell her how he felt. Knowing it wasn’t the right moment. “I promise.”

* * *

“Well? Tell me everything!” she blurted before he’d had even settled into the passenger seat by her side. “How do you like college life? Have you been to any wild parties? Gotten any crushes on some hot girl in your science classes?”

He laughed as he struggled with his seatbelt, finally wrestling it into place. “Wow, what’s with the interrogation? Has anyone ever told you that you’d be a terrifyingly good detective? Or actually a damn good reporter?”

She snorted. “You know dad would never allow me to wear a badge, and I can’t see reporting being quite my speed. I was thinking of psychology, actually. Which, by the way, is why I know what you’re doing is _deflecting_ so you don’t have to answer my questions about all the hot dates you’ve been going on in my absence.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’ve been studying too hard to go on any hot dates, if you want to know the truth.” He swallowed, wondering if he dared say a little more. “I do, uh, have a crush on someone, actually. But I doubt she even knows I exist. I mean, romantically. She’d never want to go out with me. We’re just friends.”

She scowled. “What’s her name and number? I want to call her and tell her to open her eyes and stop being such an idiot because _you_ , Barry Allen, are the most incredible guy I’ve ever met. And you deserve someone as amazing as you.”

“Yeah?” he asked, feeling a tiny spark of hope flare in his chest. He’d hoped time away at college would have cured him of his unrequited love of her, but it seemed to have done just the opposite. Being with her now, he realized he loved her more than he ever did before he left.

“Yeah,” she agreed in a voice that invited no argument. “Now, I want to hear all about it, but I think this conversation calls for caffeine and baked goods. Unless you’re in a hurry to get back to the house?”

He shook his head. “Nope. I’m all yours,” he replied. If only she knew how true that was.

* * *

“Who’s she?” Iris asked as she flopped back onto Barry’s bed, the flimsy frame letting out a loud shriek of protest at the sudden jarring motion. He looked over to see she was holding the picture frame that had been sitting on his bookshelf for the past two weeks, bringing him equal measures of pleasure and guilt.

“Oh,” he said rather dimly, sliding onto the narrow mattress next to her. She scooted toward the head of the bed until her back was pressed against the wall and he followed suit, their shoulders pressing together in the limited quarters available to him. “That’s Holly. She was my study partner for finite math.” At her expectant look, he explained, “We’ve, uh, we’ve been dating for a couple months now.”

Her mouth dropped open, less with surprise than with joy. “You’re dating someone? Barry, that’s fantastic! Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?”

He winced. “ _Girlfriend_? I don’t know that I would call her my _girlfriend_ , per se. It’s just been a few dates, and—”

“Don’t be silly,” she cut in, rolling her eyes at him. “If it’s been a couple months, she’s your girlfriend.”

That only served to make his guilt worse. Did she find it peculiar that he kept a picture of his “girlfriend” on his bookshelf and a picture of Iris on his nightstand? If so, she didn’t say anything about it. The problem was, _Barry_ didn’t know if it was peculiar. He didn’t know if it unconsciously revealed something he’d felt but didn’t want to openly accept.

Like the fact that, nice as she was, Holly wasn’t Iris. And she never would be.

“Anyway, she’s very pretty,” Iris continued, ignorant to his thoughts as she gave the picture in her hand a critical look. “Is she nice?”

Now it was Barry’s turn to roll his eyes good-naturedly at her. “No, of course not. I only go for surly girls. Mean ones. You know that.”

She snorted and elbowed him in the ribs as just punishment for his teasing. “To _you_ , you goofball. Is she nice _to you_?”

“I guess so,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Well, I’m glad. You deserve someone nice. I hope she makes you happy.”

“She does.” The problem was, he wasn’t sure _he’d_ be able to make _her_ happy. Not when his heart had long ago been given to another.

* * *

“You okay?” Iris asked, dropping onto the porch stair beside him. “Dad said you and Holly broke up.” Then, as though afraid he’d be upset his secret was out, she rushed to add, “Don’t be mad at him for telling me. I think he’s worried about you.”

“I’m not mad,” Barry reassured her, tilting his head back to look up at the stars. While he was sure she was under the misconception his failed relationship had brought him to silent and solitary contemplation on the front porch, the truth was, he hadn’t been thinking about Holly at all. He’d been thinking about Iris. Which was, when one came down to it, why their relationship had been doomed to fail from the start.

Scooting in closer, she laid her head against his shoulder, offering him condolences he didn’t deserve. “You’ll find the right girl someday, Bar. I just know it. Someone as amazing as you are.”

He made a soft sound in the back of his throat, uncomfortable at accepting her comfort under false pretenses. “What about you? Don’t you want to fall in love one day?”

He regretted the question when it caused her to lift her head off of him so she could follow his gaze toward the starry night sky. “Me?” she asked in a voice so soft it barely broke the still evening air. “I’m not sure I know what love feels like. People say it’s like being swept away, like fireworks exploding all around you. And I’ve never felt anything like that.”

He shrugged, sliding one hand toward her until he linked his fingers in hers. “Maybe love is nothing like that. At least, maybe it isn’t like that for everyone. Maybe it’s like this. Sharing a quiet evening with someone you can’t imagine life without. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?”

Her smile was brighter than the light coming from the street lamp nearby, and then she sighed and placed her head upon his shoulder once more. “No,” she admitted, letting her body rest against his. “I guess that doesn’t sound so bad at all.”

He could tell she hadn’t understood, hadn’t realized that he was speaking of his own feelings. In that moment, he almost told her how much he loved her. But the timing didn’t seem right, so he rested his cheek against the top of his head and held his tongue. Soon. He’d tell her he loved her soon.

* * *

“What’s the big news?” Iris asked excitedly, blowing into the room like a gust of fresh air. Leaving him breathless in her wake.

“You’re looking at the newest CSI for the Central City Police Department!” he replied with a wide grin.

“Really? That’s _amazing_! I knew you could do it!” she cried, joyfully flinging her arms around his neck.

Soon. He’d tell her he loved her soon.

* * *

“Barry, can you hear me? Do you even know I’m here?” Iris asked, her voice cracking with tears she struggled not to shed as she placed her hand over his. Trying to be strong for him. “The doctors say they don’t know if – _when_ – you’ll wake up, but I know you’re in there somewhere. Come back to me, Bar. I need you.”

* * *

“Are you – this is real? It’s really you?” Iris asked, cupping his face between her palms before running her hands along his shoulders and down his chest.

He captured her hands in his, holding them still over his heart. “It’s really me.”

Tearing her hands free, she flung them around his neck, pulling him into yet another hug. At least their eighth in the past half hour. “I dreamed you’d come back to me so many times. I’d almost given up hope—”

He tightened his arms around her waist, content to hold her for however long she wanted. If it was up to him, he’d never let her go. “I’ll always come back to you, Iris. You should know that.”

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked him in a tortured whisper. “All this time, you never told me how you felt.”

“Because I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you. I _don’t_ want to lose you.”

But she wouldn’t meet his eyes, turning her face away so he couldn’t read her thoughts, and he felt his heart sink in his chest. Had he lost her anyway?

* * *

“I picked up some breakfast. Want some?” she offered him a little awkwardly as she gave a box of baked goods a gentle push in his direction. Things had been awkward between them since he’d told her of his feelings. He didn’t know if they’d ever stop being awkward. But at least she was still trying. She hadn’t given up on him yet.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a small sigh of relief, reaching for the blueberry muffin he suspected she’d picked up just for him, since neither she nor Joe liked blueberries. “Thanks.”

* * *

“I just don’t understand. You’ve been lying to me this whole time about being the Flash? I mean, it’s one thing not to tell me your secret. But you tried to make me think I was crazy to even think he existed! How could you do that to me?” Iris demanded. He knew she was angry, but what killed him was that she sounded hurt, as well.

“I’m sorry,” he replied honestly. Desperately. Afraid he was losing her. “I should have told you the truth a long time ago. You were the first person I wanted to tell! It’s just…Joe was afraid it would put you in danger, and—”

She crossed her arms over her chest, the expression on her face granting him no quarter. “This isn’t about my dad. This is about _you_. You’re my _best friend_! You could have told him to go to hell when he told you to lie to me, and you didn’t! Why not? Was it – didn’t you trust me?”

He shook his head, a quick jerk of his neck. “It wasn’t like that,” he tried to explain in a hoarse whisper, his voice filled with regret. “I trust you! I trust you more than anyone!”

His regret was nothing compared to the pain in her voice when she asked in a pleading whisper, “Then why?”

Barry’s gaze dropped to the floor. What could he say to her? How could he explain? He had his reasons, but they all sounded like weak excuses, lies he’d held close to his heart so that he didn’t have to admit to the possibility of one ugly truth: that he’d lied to her about being the Flash for the most selfish of reasons. Because he’d liked the way she looked at the scarlet speedster when she didn’t know Barry Allen was the man beneath the mask.

* * *

“So, Flash, inquiring minds want to know…how fast _can_ you move, anyway?” she asked, reaching out and snatching one of the fries off his plate. “Not fast enough to stop me from stealing your food, apparently.”

He tried to hide his answering smile. “I’m pretty sure nothing on Earth could stop you from stealing my food. And is this…are you really planning to interview me right now?”

“You said I could!” she replied defensively, stealing another fry. He didn’t argue the point because it was true, he had. He just hadn’t realized she planned to frame it as an actual _interview_. She probably knew enough about him at this point that she could write her article without asking him a single question.

But she recently had seemed so excited to get into reporting, and he didn’t want to do anything to wipe that smile from her face. So he shrugged instead. “All right, well…I’m not sure how fast I can move, exactly. At least, I don’t know that I’d want your readers to know how fast I can run. I’m worried about people finding out too much about my powers. Might help them find a way to take me down.”

She nodded thoughtfully, making a quick note in the small notepad by her elbow. “Fair enough,” she agreed. “But I can say you’re fast enough to run up the side of buildings, at least.”

He nodded. “Sure,” he agreed. But before she could ask him another question, he got an idea. “Though, really, if you want to know how fast the Flash can run, there’s nothing like experiencing it for yourself.”

Iris’s eyes darted toward his in surprise and confusion. “You mean like…how could I—”

Barry held out his arms, silently offering to carry her. “I don’t know that it’s the kind of thing everyone enjoys, but…want to go on a run with me, Miss West? I’ll get you back here before your fries even have a chance to grow cold. I promise.”

She considered him in silence for a long moment. Finally, however, she stood. “All right,” she agreed, taking a step toward him. He sped away to change into his superhero costume, returning before her foot had made contact with the ground. She came to a stop before him, and his stared into her eyes as he leaned down slowly to lift her into his arms. Their eyes remained locked as she wrapped one arm around his neck, holding on tight. “You ready? If it gets to be too much for you, just let me know and I’ll slow down, okay?”

She nodded, and he realized with pleasure that there was no fear in her eyes. “I’m ready,” she said firmly.

He took off, running as fast as he could, reveling in the power of the speed force as it traveled through his body and moved him faster than any man was meant to travel. As he pushed himself to move faster, faster – wanting, perhaps, to show off for the woman he loved a bit – he kept one eye on her face. The moment it seemed like there might be something wrong, he would stop and make sure she was okay.

But Iris didn’t seem frightened. She didn’t seem unnerved by their speed or the blurring city streets as they raced by. Instead, she laughed, reveling in his abilities almost as much as he did. Holding tightly to him as he ran faster, faster, faster. Not just unafraid but gleeful over the very powers that had brought him such joy amidst the inevitable pain that came with the life he led.

Was it any wonder he loved her?

* * *

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Iris asked, resting her hand atop the bandage that covered his most recent injury. Her eyes were filled with worry, so he offered her a reassuring smile as he rose gingerly to his feet. The happiness and love he felt when he was near her was strong enough to almost drown out the pain in his side.

“I’m okay,” he told her, a tiny white lie. He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “I heal fast. Anyway, I’ve got to get back out there before anyone else gets hurt.”

“I know,” she agreed with a heavy sigh. “Just…be careful, all right? I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”

His heart swelled at her words, giving him the strength he needed to race into the fray once more.

* * *

“You do know we can’t just keep doing this forever, right?” she teased him gently, the words coming disjointedly between soft kisses pressed against her lips. He was too preoccupied to argue the point, but he was pretty sure they could, in fact, keep doing what they were doing forever. In fact, he'd very much like to try. “At some point, we have to stop for food, at the very least.”

Barry made a soft sound of disagreement, his lips trailing from her mouth along the curve of her jaw to the soft spot under her hear that made her sigh with pleasure. “Later,” he promised, making her giggle softly at the determined growl of his voice. He’d wanted to hold her like this for _years_. He wasn’t quite ready yet to let her go.

* * *

“Stay with me tonight?” she asked in a soft, shy voice, reaching her hand toward him.

He didn’t need her to ask twice.

* * *

“You sure you really want me to make an honest man out of you like this?” Iris teased him, curling up against his side as he turned off their bedside light. He placed his hand over hers where it lay against his chest and felt the hard ridge of her engagement band. It made him smile to think that there had been a time he’d thought she would never love him as he loved her.

He smiled at her, though he knew she wasn’t likely to see him in the dark. “I’ve wanted it almost all my life,” he whispered, lifting her hand to press a kiss against her palm. So much had happened in his life that had been strange and unexpected in the years since he’d first developed his powers. There were no doubt untold strange and unexpected things he would face in the years ahead. But he’d face them unflinchingly if he had Iris by his side.

* * *

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked as she sank onto the couch next to him, flinging her legs over his.

Barry winced, almost wishing she hadn’t asked. His thoughts weren’t exactly ones he was desperate to share. But he couldn’t lie to her, so he said slowly, carefully choosing his words, “I was just thinking…being with me…I haven’t exactly given you the perfect life you deserved, have I? It’s always _something_ with us. Psychic gorillas, evil speedsters from another world, time travel…either that or I’m locking myself into the speed force and leaving you behind, or making you think I’m never coming home, or getting framed for a murder I didn’t commit. And now, with what happened at our wedding…I just can’t help but think one day, you’ll wake up and decide being with me was a mistake. Your life could have been so much easier if you’d fallen in love with someone else.”

“Hey,” she said, waiting until he finally turned his head to meet her eyes. “I never asked for easier, and I certainly didn’t want to fall in love with someone else. I’m not even sure I’d know how to try, since I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you most of my life without realizing it. I don’t care about the gorillas or the time travel or the evil speedsters. I don’t even care about talking sharks in pants! As long as you come home to me every night. That’s all I need for my life to be perfect.”

* * *

“Do you ever think about the future? About the life you want to have when all this is over?” she asked, leaning against him as they stared out the window at the bustling city below.

“Sometimes, but it’s hard to picture what that will be like,” he admitted. “Except to know that, whatever my life will be like, I’ll never stop wanting you in it.”

* * *

“How could you not know?” she whispered, curled up in her hospital bed. “I – maybe I’m not being fair. But it wasn’t me. For weeks, it wasn’t me. And you didn’t know.”

Barry’s head fell forward, his shoulders sagging in defeat and despair. “I don’t know,” he whispered. But he would never forgive himself for not realizing the truth sooner. For leaving her in the mirror world alone.

* * *

“Are you okay? That fight looked pretty bad.” Iris’s voice was soft, concerned, soothing his wounds yet breaking his heart.

His hands shook with the desire to hold her, but he didn’t have the right. Instead, he sighed and sank onto the sofa, where he would be sleeping for the night. As he had the night before and the night before that. It was his own choice – and his own doing. Iris hadn’t asked him to leave their marital bed, but his guilt kept him away. After spending so much time with her mirror counterpart without a shred of suspicion, he didn’t deserve to touch her. Iris deserved better than that.

He didn’t respond right away, so she said his name again, the word a soft question on her lips. “Barry? What is it?”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” he lied.

He heard her step up beside the couch and felt the gentle pressure of her hand on his shoulder. “Come to bed.”

He looked up at her in surprise, almost unable to believe his ears. “Iris – you’re sure?” She nodded and he rose slowly to his feet, not wanting to make any sudden movement that might scare her away. She slipped her hand into his, leading him toward the bedroom, but he didn’t follow immediately. Instead, he whispered, “Are we okay?”

She hesitated, and he could see the muscles in her shoulders grow tense for a moment before relaxing again. He heard her sigh, and then she turned to face him. “Not yet,” she admitted, holding his hand tight so that he couldn’t pull away. “But we will be. Anyway, I miss my husband. Come to bed.”

* * *

 _“Twins?”_ Iris asked in amazement, staring at the white and black images on the ultrasound screen. “There has to be some kind of mistake…we can’t be…can we?”

Barry’s astonishment mirrored her own, but the two circles on the screen left no doubt. “Twins,” he breathed. They were going to have _twins_.

He hoped they took after their mother. Not that he was such a bad person to take after, but…oh, god. What if they both inherited his powers? What age would they kick in? When they were teenagers? Toddlers?

One thing was for sure: He was definitely not prepared.

* * *

“You understand, don’t you?” Iris asked in a low, pained whisper, wincing when a slight movement pulled at the new stitches in her side. “I have to keep going. It’s important. People deserve to know the truth, and I’m the only reporter out there chasing down this story right now.”

“I know,” he admitted, squeezing her hand in his own. “I can’t ask you to stop, but try to be careful, okay? I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”

* * *

“Oh my god, would you _stop_?” she asked on a laugh.

“What?” he replied with false innocence.

Smothering a giggle, she shook her head at him. “I know you’re proud, but you don’t have to start _every_ conversation with, ‘Did I mention my wife just won a Pulitzer?’ you know.”

He nodded gravely in response, but he knew he wouldn’t really be able to help himself. He was proud of her finally getting the recognition she deserved after years of hard work and dedication, and he didn’t care who knew it.

* * *

“So, Flash, are the rumors true? Are you and Wonder Woman dating?”

Iris’s voice was light and joking, but he scoffed rolled his eyes at her anyway. “Don’t even start. We fight one battle together, and everyone wants to make something of it,” he grumbled, pushing his cowl back off his face.

She laughed. “Don’t even pretend like you aren’t loving this just a little,” she teased him. “It’s okay; we’ve been married a while. It’s gotta be flattering to hear rumors that you’re dating an _actual Amazonian princess_. I mean, just look at her. Is she as gorgeous up close as she is in her pictures?”

“She doesn’t hold a candle next to you.” When he saw her eyes widen with surprise, he bent down and brushed his lips against hers in a warm kiss.

When the embrace finally broke off, she gazed wistfully up at him, the corners of her mouth twitching with a laugh. “I – you know, flattery looks _really_ good on you. But while I’ve got you in a good mood, how about an interview with your favorite reporter?”

“Anything you want, Mrs. West-Allen. Anything you want.”

* * *

“This is real? It’s really you?” Iris asked, launching herself into his arms. Barry breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as he held her close. The scene reminded him of one he’d experienced before. But that was long ago, when he was young and strong. Now age and countless battles hung upon him, stooping his shoulders and putting streaks of grey in his hair. His children were grown now, a lifetime of happiness and of regret leaving its mark in the lines upon his face.

“It’s really me,” he reassured her, pressing a hard kiss against her temple. How many years had he lived this way? How many decades had he dedicated to serving the citizens of Central City? How many times had he left Iris in fear of being a widow, rather than a wife?

She would never ask him to give up his life as a superhero. Not for her. But he’d come too close to death one too many times. He’d faced the prospect of leaving Iris alone more times than he could bear. This most recent battle had been close. Too close. He couldn’t take such a risk again.

“I’ve come back to you, Iris, just like I promised. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m home.”

* * *

“Stay with me?” Iris asked, her voice weak and thready. “Just a little while longer.”

He lifted her hand, pressing it to his lips. He hated to see her like this, frail and trembling. She was slipping away from him; he figured she had minutes left, if he was lucky. It wasn’t enough time. It would never be enough time. But Barry wasn’t a victim to time the same way as everyone else.

Clutching her hand tightly in his, he vibrated as quickly as he could. He hadn’t moved this fast in years, his connection to the speed force having long since faded. For a moment, he was scared he wouldn’t be able to do it again. But perhaps the speed force was kind. Or perhaps it pitied him. But it did what he asked, one last time. It pulled Iris with him into Flashtime. Giving him a few moments more to say goodbye.

As the world stilled around them, Iris let out a heavy sigh of relief. The pain that had clouded her eyes and etched deep grooves into her face faded, wiping years off her face. Her features were soft and relaxed, and a smile graced her lips. She was at peace.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, resting his cheek against her fingers. But she was. He wouldn’t be able to stop it forever. With her hand still in his, he climbed up into the bed next to her, pulling her gently against him.

She sighed and leaned into him, resting her head upon his chest. “Bar, I want you to promise me something. Promise me you won’t give up when I’m gone. Live the rest of your life. Take care of our family—”

“Iris, no,” he begged, feeling himself tremble as he held her. “It’s not enough. I need more time.”

“We’ll always want more time,” she whispered. “Promise me. Please.”

But how could he make her such a promise? When he lost her, he would lose so much of himself. What would be left of him? He’d loved her almost his entire life; picturing his world without her now was almost impossible to contemplate. It was certainly too terrible to bear. But it was what she wanted, so he would have to try. “I promise,” he said, the word coming out on a small sob.

He could feel her soft smile against his chest. “I won’t really be gone, you know. I’ll just be waiting for you to run home to me. So don’t waste the time you have left with tears.” Giving her hand a small but firm tug, so pulled it away from his, silently asking him to return time to normal and let her go.

He didn’t want to do it. If it was up to him, he’d keep her in Flashtime forever. Slowing each second to an eternity. But she was right; even that wouldn’t be enough. And, anyway, he’d never really been able to deny Iris anything. Not even this.

With reluctance, he stopped his superhuman speed, watching the world around them return to its normal pace. Then he felt her breathe out one last, long sigh as she curled in closer to his warmth.

“We had a hell of a run, didn’t we Bar?” she asked in a voice almost too soft to hear.

He felt her body grow still beside him and no longer tried to hold back his tears as he pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “Yeah, Iris. We did.”

* * *

“Iris?” he asked as the bright light around him faded, revealing her standing before him, her hand outstretched. Waiting for him to take it. He reached out and placed his palm in hers and she laughed, pulling him closer. She looked as beautiful as she had on their wedding day, so many years before. “Is it really you?”

He’d lived a long life. Most of it was happy, though some of it wasn’t. But now he was an old man, years older than he’d been when he’d held his wife in his arms for the last time. If it hadn’t been for the promise he’d made her, he doubted he would have been able to carry on so long. But it was what she’d asked of him, and so he’d done his best. Until finally, at the end of his life, he raced into the speed force one last time. And he’d found her there, waiting for him.

“It’s me,” she reassured him, giving his hand a quick squeeze. She felt so real, and the teasing gleam in her eyes was just as he remembered it. “I told you’d I’d be waiting for you to run home to me.”

“I promised I always would,” he reminded her, pulling her toward him so he could steal a kiss. It, too, was just like he remembered. “But…how? I thought only speedsters—”

“I was surprised, too,” she admitted. “I guess it’s one last gift from the speed force. I was your lightning rod, after all.”

That made sense, he supposed, though the explanation didn’t really matter. What mattered was she was here. His Iris. He’d been running for so many years; now, finally, at long last, he could stop. He could think of nothing better than spending the rest of eternity in the speed force, with her by his side.

Finally, at long last, he was home.


End file.
